When you got married, you thought it would be forever!

Even if you didn’t plan the details of your future together, you probably had a sense of what your life would be like.  Even if you knew that there would be ups and downs and good and bad, you probably didn’t include a divorce and a broken heart in your plans.  It’s more likely that you were confident that you would be the couple that beat the odds and stayed together forever.  Isn’t that what you promise to do in the typical wedding ceremony?

Divorce is a painful experience even if your heart isn’t broken.

A broken heart brings an entire set of feelings and actions that can leave you feeling vulnerable and exposed.  You must invite in your conscious awareness in order to leave your marriage with your dignity intact.

While you may have reason to be hurt and angry, your desire to be right can strip you of your dignity.  It is normal to blame and point fingers, but this will only keep you stuck in the pain.  So, with a broken heart to heal, how do you divorce with dignity?

Get support!

If you are fortunate, you will have a supportive family and friends that do not fuel the anger and resentment that you may be feeling.  Remember that your righteous feelings are a defense mechanism to protect you from the pain, but it cannot protect you!  The pain will only be compounded by bitterness and resentment.

The concepts taught in Spiritual Divorce(tm) have the power to heal your heart while keeping your dignity intact.  As you move through the spiritual laws of divorce, you will find yourself using your pain to powerfully heal your heart.

While going through a divore, emotions can carry you away and you may find that you are doing and saying things that you never thought you would or could.  This is where you must come back to yourself, know who you are, and take actions that are in alignment with who you know yourself to be.  This is not the ‘high road,’ this is much bigger than that.

When you are living true to who you want to be regardless of what’s happening around you, then you will retain your dignity.  Get the support you need so that you can walk away knowing that you were an authentic expression of yourself, even as you sit with a broken heart.

The Law of Acceptance — “Everything is as it should be.”

It’s not easy to embrace this law when your spouse just lied to you about your financial situation, cheated on you with your best friend, or is threatening you with divorce.  Nor is it easy to embrace this law when your ex is threatening you with financial withdrawal or any other number of painful possibilities.

When your heart is broken and you are wanting so desperately to simply not be having the experience you are having, it is very difficult indeed.

There’s an old Sufi story about a farmer and his son.  Have you heard it?  The farmer heads out to feed his animals and his prized horse is dead.  As soon as the village learned of this tragedy, they came to express their condolences.  The farmer heard the same message throughout the day:

“What a terrible thing to have happen to you.  This is the worst thing that could happen.”

The farmer repeated what became a mantra to the well wishers:

“Perhaps…. perhaps.”

The following week, while the farmer was working the land, his eldest son runs to tell him that he just captured a herd of wild horses.  This time the villagers were excited for the farmer and came to congratulate him on his good fortune.

“You are so lucky!  Look at the blessing that has been bestowed upon you.  An entire herd of horses!  You rock!”

Interestingly, the farmers reply was the same as before, “Perhaps… perhaps.”  A few days later he sent his son to tame the wild horses.  In the process the farmer’s son was thrown to the ground and his leg was broken.

You know the villagers were pretty tight back then, so they all heard of the tragedy.  Once again the villagers came to check on the boy and to inform the farmer of what bad luck he was having.  The farmer’s reply once again was, “Perhaps… perhaps”

The farmer’s son was still bedridden several weeks later when the emperor sent his messengers to round up all the boys who could fight in a local battle.  Of course they passed the boy right on by when the messengers saw how injured he was.

A few weeks later, the neighbors, who lost their sons in the battle, again come by the farmer’s home and say, “You’re so lucky to have your son home with you.”  And do you know what the farmer said?  You’re right,  “Perhaps… perhaps.”

Acceptance:  It may be the last thing you want to do.

Usually, when we’re in the middle of a crisis, our first thought tends to be something like this:

• It shouldn’t be like this.
• Why does everything happen to me?

The Law of Acceptance teaches us that our lives are always evolving.

The Law of Acceptance invites us to remember that what may appear to be a tragedy, may be in reality the perfect event leading us to the fulfillment of our dreams.  When you are living this law you will be in a trusting relationship with the Divine.  You will know on an intuitive level that the changes that are taking place in your life is ultimately for your highest good.  Yes, even when you are hurting.   This is the first law you must embrace to heal your broken heart.

The first law in the Spiritual Divorce(tm) process.

As you embrace The Law of Acceptance, you will open yourself up to the other laws and to the life that you most desire.

RESOURCES: exercise, book, and a video.

Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford

Spiritual Divorce and The Right Questions are requirements for the 13-week Spiritual Divorce(tm) coaching process.

Byron Katie — Is it true?

In this powerful video, Byron Katie highlights a story about a woman who doesn’t even know what she wants.  After asking a few important questions, she discovers that she doesn’t even want her husband back.

Can you imagine the freedom you can have from discovering what you really want?

So often we think we “should” feel a certain way, but do we really feel this way?  Byron Katie helps us discern what is true–for us.