sad-fingers

Taking responsibility for the healing of your heart.

Taking responsibility for yourself starts with acknowledging that the way your relationship looks and feels is the result of your choices.  Many people point their fingers at their ex-partner and claim that ‘it’ was all their fault, while others might blame themselves, but one thing for sure… if you blame others, you are not taking responsibility for yourself.

What does blame sound like?

You are not taking responsibility if your internal dialogue sounds like this:

It’s all my fault!  I’m such a failure.  If only I did it different.  If only I was prettier, nicer, sexier….  Blah, blah, blah….  He ruined my life.  She betrayed me and now I’ll never trust again.  Blah, blah, blah!

Blaming does not serve you, and only indicates that you are in a victim mentality.  With the laws of acceptance, surrender, and Divine guidance you will understand that taking responsibility is not about blaming…others or yourself.

Blaming does not work.  It does not change your circumstances and it does not make you feel better or motivate you to make necessary changes.  Blaming your ex-partner will not bring you the peace you’re looking for.  The Law of Responsibility requires that you end the blame game and take responsibility for what you’ve created.  This is a hard law for many to integrate, but I can help you take this important step in healing your heart.

When you take responsibility, you acknowledge how powerful you are.  Be assured that as you take responsibility for what you’ve created, you will not be asked to condone inappropriate behavior or justify abuse.  That is NEVER okay!

Being honest with yourself!

In this process, I will ask you to be brutally honest and ruthlessly compassionate with yourself.  You will discover key choice points in your relationship that contributed to the necessity of a heart healing.

Many people find that living The Law of Responsibility is a  powerful turning point in their life, for it is in taking responsibility that you reclaim your ability to consciously create.

Take responsibility

Laura Silva is referring to teaching children to take responsibility for their choices.  We could learn from what she teaches children.

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birthday-cake

I’ve felt a little apprehensive talking about Divine Guidance, because you might think that I’m telling you to adhere to a specific religion.  Well, I’m not.  Whatever religion you practice is perfectly.  Whether or not you even practice a religion is irrelevant.  I’m not here to judge your beliefs as bad or wrong.  In fact, I’m here to support you in using whatever Divine Guidance you have access to.

With that said, there are a select group of people are not happy with their religious experience.  If you are in this category, we could use your relationship with your religion as the focal point for the Spiritual Divorce process.

Finding your own answers.

Learning how to access your own inner-wisdom will be key to integrating The Law of Divine Guidance.  Your internal world is a safe place for your Divine Guidance to make itself known to you.  In this process of healing your heart, I will guide you weekly into your internal world to access this wisdom.

Resources that could help to connect you with your Divine Guidance

Please share your resources in the form of a comment.  How do you connect with your Divine Guidance?  I want to know.

Eckhart Tolle — A New Earth

Maybe you watched the Oprah webcasts.  I found the series very powerful and resonating.  Give it a try.

Meditation is a powerful tool to use to connect with your inner-wisdom.

Share with me how you connect with your inner-wisdom.  In this short video, Deepak Chopra talks about how to meditate.  This is a tool I like to use to connect with my Divine Guidance.


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My Heart Heals with The Law of Surrender

by Leila on March 1, 2009

budapest

This Spiritual Law requires that you surrender to the circumstances of your life as they are.

Ultimately, this is the “telling myself the truth” law.  This is the way it is, now what?  When you are able to surrender to what is, then you open yourself up to tons of possibilities that will change the experience you are having with you life.

Surrendering is very different than giving up.

When you “give up,” you feel victimized, but when you surrender you become empowered to take different actions than you have in the past.  When you “give up,” you feel drained and empty, but when you surrender you are filled with inspiration and become open to a wider view of yourself and the world around you.

When you resist what is, whatever you’re resisting consumes your attention and it becomes very difficult to be in the flow of your life.  Surrendering opens us up to a greater reality than what we previously thought possible.

Dan Millman talks about The Law of Surrender

In the first half of this video, Millman effectively teaches this law using some common circumstances we might find ourselves in.  The Law of Surrender gives us new ways to be in the world.  Millman also teaches an important concept that I work with in my coaching work:

“Emotions are the weather patterns of the body. “

During the second half of the video, Millman shares a simple way to stay in the present moment.

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My Heart Heals With the Law of Acceptance

by Leila on March 1, 2009

okay

The Law of Acceptance — “Everything is as it should be.”

It’s not easy to embrace this law when your spouse just lied to you about your financial situation, cheated on you with your best friend, or is threatening you with divorce.  Nor is it easy to embrace this law when your ex is threatening you with financial withdrawal or any other number of painful possibilities.

When your heart is broken and you are wanting so desperately to simply not be having the experience you are having, it is very difficult indeed.

white-horse

There’s an old Sufi story about a farmer and his son.  Have you heard it?  The farmer heads out to feed his animals and his prized horse is dead.  As soon as the village learned of this tragedy, they came to express their condolences.  The farmer heard the same message throughout the day:

“What a terrible thing to have happen to you.  This is the worst thing that could happen.”

The farmer repeated what became a mantra to the well wishers:

“Perhaps…. perhaps.”

The following week, while the farmer was working the land, his eldest son runs to tell him that he just captured a herd of wild horses.  This time the villagers were excited for the farmer and came to congratulate him on his good fortune.

“You are so lucky!  Look at the blessing that has been bestowed upon you.  An entire herd of horses!  You rock!”

Interestingly, the farmers reply was the same as before, “Perhaps… perhaps.”  A few days later he sent his son to tame the wild horses.  In the process the farmer’s son was thrown to the ground and his leg was broken.

You know the villagers were pretty tight back then, so they all heard of the tragedy.  Once again the villagers came to check on the boy and to inform the farmer of what bad luck he was having.  The farmer’s reply once again was, “Perhaps… perhaps”

The farmer’s son was still bedridden several weeks later when the emperor sent his messengers to round up all the boys who could fight in a local battle.  Of course they passed the boy right on by when the messengers saw how injured he was.

A few weeks later, the neighbors, who lost their sons in the battle, again come by the farmer’s home and say, “You’re so lucky to have your son home with you.”  And do you know what the farmer said?  You’re right,  “Perhaps… perhaps.”

Acceptance:  It may be the last thing you want to do.

Usually, when we’re in the middle of a crisis, our first thought tends to be something like this:

  • It shouldn’t be like this.
  • Why does everything happen to me?

The Law of Acceptance teaches us that our lives are always evolving.

The Law of Acceptance invites us to remember that what may appear to be a tragedy, may be in reality the perfect event leading us to the fulfillment of our dreams.  When you are living this law you will be in a trusting relationship with the Divine.  You will know on an intuitive level that the changes that are taking place in your life is ultimately for your highest good.  Yes, even when you are hurting.   This is the first law you must embrace to heal your broken heart.

The first law in the Spiritual Divorce(tm) process.

As you embrace The Law of Acceptance, you will open yourself up to the other laws and to the life that you most desire.

RESOURCES: exercise, book, and a video.

Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford

Spiritual Divorce and The Right Questions are requirements for the 13-week Spiritual Divorce(tm) coaching process.

Byron Katie — Is it true?

In this powerful video, Byron Katie highlights a story about a woman who doesn’t even know what she wants.  After asking a few important questions, she discovers that she doesn’t even want her husband back.

Can you imagine the freedom you can have from discovering what you really want?

So often we think we “should” feel a certain way, but do we really feel this way?  Byron Katie helps us discern what is true–for us.

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