When you got married, you thought it would be forever!
Even if you didn’t plan the details of your future together, you probably had a sense of what your life would be like. Even if you knew that there would be ups and downs and good and bad, you probably didn’t include a divorce and a broken heart in your plans. It’s more likely that you were confident that you would be the couple that beat the odds and stayed together forever. Isn’t that what you promise to do in the typical wedding ceremony?
Divorce is a painful experience even if your heart isn’t broken.
A broken heart brings an entire set of feelings and actions that can leave you feeling vulnerable and exposed. You must invite in your conscious awareness in order to leave your marriage with your dignity intact.
While you may have reason to be hurt and angry, your desire to be right can strip you of your dignity. It is normal to blame and point fingers, but this will only keep you stuck in the pain. So, with a broken heart to heal, how do you divorce with dignity?
Get support!
If you are fortunate, you will have a supportive family and friends that do not fuel the anger and resentment that you may be feeling. Remember that your righteous feelings are a defense mechanism to protect you from the pain, but it cannot protect you! The pain will only be compounded by bitterness and resentment.
The concepts taught in Spiritual Divorce(tm) have the power to heal your heart while keeping your dignity intact. As you move through the spiritual laws of divorce, you will find yourself using your pain to powerfully heal your heart.
While going through a divore, emotions can carry you away and you may find that you are doing and saying things that you never thought you would or could. This is where you must come back to yourself, know who you are, and take actions that are in alignment with who you know yourself to be. This is not the ‘high road,’ this is much bigger than that.
When you are living true to who you want to be regardless of what’s happening around you, then you will retain your dignity. Get the support you need so that you can walk away knowing that you were an authentic expression of yourself, even as you sit with a broken heart.
It’s so nice to be included on your journey to a healed heart.
If you have any questions or just want to connect, please contact me personally at leila at MyHeartHeals dot com.
I’m looking forward to sharing articles and resources with you to support you on your path. If you desire my personal and professional support and attention, please Hire me today.
Healing your heart may feel like an enormous task, and guess what? It is! But it’s worth it.
The Law of Creation frees you to consciously step out of self-imposed limitations and into the infinite wonder of what is possible for your life. When you have integrated the other six spiritual laws, you will be well on your way to a healed heart and in the perfect position to go for what you desire.
In her book, Spiritual Divorce, Debbie Ford says that “The Law of Creation guides us to design a new future that is grounded in divine truth.” The Spiritual Divorce process was developed by Debbie Ford and is a well-known and proven process for healing hearts.
Once you have forgiven and broken the painful ties that bind you to the past, you will be in the perfect place to create from clear ground. You deserve to be free from the pain of the past and to live with an open, loving, and trusting heart. It may be hard work for you, but I guarantee you that if you make the commitment to heal your heart, it will be well worth it.
If you were standing on a blank canvas, what would you create?
Give yourself a little time here to dream. Before you begin this 10-15 minute journaling exercise, clear your mind of all limitation. If you notice doubt or fear creep in, just ask it to sit aside for your journal time. Use the following prompts to imagine what you would create:
If your heart were completely healed, what would you be able to have in your life?
What is it that you would be able to do that you haven’t been able to do up to now?
Where would you live? work?
What new things would you try? A new hobby? Would you take up an activity that you haven’t participated in years?
How might you look at the world differently?
If you had the feeling in your heart that you were unstoppable, what actions would you take this week?
What old grudges would you drop? What fears would you let go of?
If there were no limitations, what would your life look like?
Once you’ve written for about 15 minutes, fold the piece of paper up and place it under you pillow. Read it every night for a week. Feel free to add to it or update it as you re-read it. Let the good feelings build in you as you commit to creating what you want for your life.
Share with me what you discovered about your desires.
On Self-growth.com, Amanda Butler discusses this universal law in detail. The most powerful reason to forgive is for your own freedom. I’ve often heard Debbie Ford say, “forgiveness takes place in your heart, not your mind,” and it’s so true. This Spiritual Law often takes a little extra time to integrate, especially when deep betrayal is involved. It is empowering to know that once you have fully integrated the Law of Forgiveness, you will be free from the past and ready to move completely into a future that you create for yourself.
Forgiving can be difficult, but it’s necessary to forgive so you can live your life.
I was touched very deeply by Azim Khamiza, who practices The Law of Forgiveness everyday. In 1995, his son Tariq Khamiza lost his life to a gang-related murder. Azim shares how holding resentment takes up precious space in our minds. This is true for all situations. If we are holding onto resentment, the person we hurt the most is ourselves. In forgiving, Azim has been able to create a foundation that educates and empowers. What will you be able to create through your forgiveness? What could you do with all that resentment that you hold for someone you once loved? or for someone who has hurt you?
Here’s some more…
In this short video, you see how forgiveness can benefit all of humanity. You might have to look a little, or should I say–open your heart, to see the possibilities resulting from your forgiveness. It may not be this dramatic, but your forgiveness will change your world.
How we interpret the events in our lives, will determine our experience. How can this be true? Let me give you an example.
My mother left when I was a teenager. She left without saying, “Goodbye.” I interpreted her leaving to mean that I was insignificant. I felt as if I didn’t matter and was unworthy of her time and attention. The belief that I created in my own mind, led to a life in which I felt very insignificant. To avoid feeling insignificant I created situations in which I was a key player. I didn’t want to feel those old wounds and so I avoided them like the plague. Unfortunately, I still felt insignificant and nothing I could do filled the wound.
The only thing that shifted my experience was integrating The Law of Choice. Once I stepped out of an automatic negatively created interpretation, I was able to consciously create an empowering interpretation of these painful events. Choosing your interpretations of the events in your life is a very powerful step toward healing your heart.
There is no better way to empower yourself than to view the circumstances of your relationship from The Law of Choice.
We make hundreds of choices everyday. Are they conscious?
You make hundreds of choices about how to spend your money. You make choices to turn left or right all day long. You choose what books to read and you choose shows what to watch on television. The amount of choice that is available to you is insurmountable. Life is a matter of choice.
Why would it not be true also for your thinking? You decide what to think about what has happened to you–what it means about you. Often you look outside of yourself for what to believe about yourself and the events of your life. With the ending of a relationship, you will find yourself with a potpourri of options. You can choose to think that the ending of your relationship is the worst thing that ever happened or the best. I’d like to support you in making a powerful interpretation of the ending of your relationship. An interpretation that opens the door to a life beyond what you can currently comprehend. A life filled with peace and love and fulfillment.
Choose your thoughts!
I love the work of Byron Katie, because she is able to zero in on how our thoughts dictate our behavior. We will either choose to think thoughts that limit us or that expand us. We will choose thoughts that empower us or disempower us.
Your heart heals with The Law of Choice, when you choose to interpret the events of your breakup or loss in ways that serve your highest desires for your life.
