Your Pain and Suffering can be an opportunity

If anyone knows the burning sensation of love being ripped from their chest, it’s me.  And yet, if done with consciousness a simple shift in perspective allows your pain and suffering to become an opportunity to love more deeply.  From this vantage point your love can expand along with your awareness and your life.  From this open hearted place, you can experience more love, not less.  Your love is not being ripped from your chest, your love is expanding to include your experience.

When in the midst of a broken heart it will be most advantageous to gently remind yourself to return to a place of trust.  It’s always in your best interest to ask this question:

If this were the best thing that ever happened to me, how would I respond?  What actions might I take?  What thoughts might I entertain?

Often, it’s only trust (or faith) in a higher power that will get you through your pain.  If you remind yourself that there are forces bigger than you…. forces that are on your side… forces that are delivering you to your best life, then you will be able to rest in your faith.  You will be able to take actions even in your pain.   You may have to remind yourself often that there is something fabulous waiting for you around the corner.  Sitting in the unknown is difficult, but when you have faith then your eyes are at least open to the gifts that are on their way.

Only your open heart allows you to give and receive love.

When you are in pain, you may be inclined to close your heart.  Some red flags of a closed heart are as follows:

• Blame and Finger Pointing
• Resentment
• Justification
• Anger (You can have anger with an open heart, but it will be a clean and vulnerable anger that doesn’t include any of the other red flags.)

Closing your heart to an someone you love (or once loved) is very painful and most assuredly prevents you from receiving the gifts of that relationship.  You may feel a need for protection, but bring consciousness to your choices around how you protect your beautiful heart.  There will be a huge difference in your experience if you choose to close your heart because you hurt too much.  The pain may seem to go away, but a closed heart will not have room for love to enter.

Healing your heart is a process–grief is a process!  And it will take the time it takes.

Choose to heal your heart from the pain and suffering by mining the gifts, learning the lessons, and making the changes you need to make to align with who you are–with the authentic self that is emerging.  The other option is to repeat patterns and end up in the same situation again with the same complaints and the same pain and suffering.  How many times do you want to do this?  And I don’t mean how many times do you want to open your heart to love… the answer to that should only be… “every time.”

If you are experiencing pain and suffering, then you are receiving an invitation from the Universe to change.  You have choices in this process.  You can be a victim and wallow in self-pity (which might be alright for a time), but at some point you will need to respond to the call of something bigger than yourself.  Heal your heart… notice what is being asked of you… take stock of patterns and beliefs that no longer serve you–and change them.

How open should you keep your heart?

Wide open! Not in naivety, but consciously wide open.  If you allow your hurts to close your heart in an attempt to protect yourself, then you will never know the joy of fully loving again.  If you have a little opening in your heart, you will be only able to let in love a little bit.  If you fill your heart with all the evidence and memories of what has hurt you, then you will have a heart filled with suspicion and fear.  That is not a very loving way to be with yourself.

Choose to open your heart completely and be the love that you are.  Allow love to permeate your experience… even your experience of pain and suffering… even your experience of a broken heart.  Allow your love to transform your pain and suffering into opportunity and growth.  You deserve nothing but love, but in order to receive it you must heal your broken heart and open to love.  Again and again and again.

If you experiencing pain and suffering from a broken heart, you may benefit from relationship coaching.  I have complete and total confidence that I can show you how to heal your heart and open to love!  Allow me the honor of supporting and loving you beyond your broken heart.

Can you laugh at yourself?

Can you laugh at the pain you’re in?  Can you laugh at your situation?  Can you laugh at how you’ve given yourself away and how you’ve dis-empowered yourself time and time again?  Laughing at yourself doesn’t negate the tears or pain you’re experiencing, but it does speak to your willingness to move beyond it.

You may go in and out of pain.  You may identify self-sabotaging patterns and behaviors and find yourself right back in the same situation you thought you were out of.  We’ve all done it at some point in our lives, so laugh.  Laugh until your belly hurts deep inside…  Laugh until you see –with clarity– the irony of your situation.  Laugh!  Not to beat yourself up, but to nurture yourself.  Laugh!  Not to remind yourself of what stupidity you’ve allowed yourself to stoop to, but to remember that you’re human.  That’s right–human!

When you’re done laughing….

Laugh some more!  Then take stock.  Look at your life and what you would like to be different.  Identify the key elements you would like in an empowered relationship.  Here are some ideas you might want to consider as you’re articulating your desires…

There’s lots of fun and play and laughter–genuine and hearty.  It’s obvious to everyone that knows this monogamous couple that they enjoy each other.  There is a mutual respect and admiration that they have for each other.  While they bring different qualities and gifts to the table, each is valuable and valued.  They freely express themselves and are utterly undefended with each other.

They are always learning something new to discover and explore together–including each others bodies.  They empower each other to step into their  limitless potential–again and again.  They are confidants and share what’s in their hearts–without reservation.

They have adventures together and are filled with passion for life.  They are consciously together–sharing their lives and having a positive impact on everything (and everyone) they touch.  Their relationship is a breathing, living entity the enlivens them and those they interact with.  Their relationship is free of shame and guilt and is a container of mutual love, attraction, affection, and care.  They feel free to be themselves and have full access and expression of their authentic voices.

They have the experience of being in love with each other and meeting each other…their love deepens over time.  They take responsibility for themselves and are aware of their projections and therefore don’t put anything onto the other.

It’s easy and unfolds to their mutual delight, satisfaction, and joy!

This relationship is free of manipulation and passive-aggressive behavior and co-dependence.  They are free of the fear of loss, knowing that whatever happens is in their highest good.

They work together in some capacity and being together adds to their personal paths as opposed to taking away from them.  Communication is clear and direct.  There is deep compassion and empathy and unconditional love.  While they have much in common, they continue to pursue their individual interests and never give up anything that is important to them for the sake of the relationship.

Is healing really possible?

If you’ve been hurt and if you’re still feeling the pain of a broken heart, then you might not even be able to see beyond your pain to what is possible.  I know it’s possible, because I’ve been through this coaching process myself as part of my training–and for a real relationship that caused me pain.  I know the power that integrating the spiritual laws will have on your life, because they’ve worked in every single one of my clients lives.  One step at a time you will learn the tools and skills that will turn your pain into your greatest opportunities.

Start Your Healing TODAY!

I have every confidence that I can show you how to heal your heart.  It will take a few things on your part… willingess being the key ingredient.  If you’re ready to heal your heart, then contact me at Leila @myheartheals.com to schedule your  introductory relationship coaching appointment today.

These are words that I’ve heard more times than I can count.  I feel ravished as I witness the transformation that takes place inside a persons soul–birthing a new reality… a new way of being with themselves… a new way of engaging life after completing the Spiritual Divorce ™ process.

Unconditional Love

It is great to be loved by someone, but it’s imperative to love yourself–unconditionally.  Use your life’s experiences to embody your greatness.  Open the door to your own heart and love yourself into unlimited possibilities.  Release shame and guilt and embrace the sacredness of your entire being…

Healing is an inside job and will only happen when you’re willing to do the heart work it takes to transform your life.  It’s hard work.  It’s emotional work.  It takes commitment and a willingness to let go of story and to step into a new reality.

Terri Marro has freed herself from a cocoon that limited her expression in the world.  After completing the Spiritual Divorce ™ process, she soars free from the guilt and shame that bound her and consistently steps into her greatness.  Terri did the work, and learned to love herself through it… as a partner in her healing process, I held the space for her transformation…   I listened deeply to what was being said… and I helped her see her story in a new way… one that bore beautiful gifts.  Gifts of love and compassion and empowerment.  And Terri stepped into a beautiful and ever-expanding version of herself.

Here’s Terri’s experience of the coaching process:

Leila has demystified and unraveled my life story.  I don’t know what happens when we have a session, but she validates what I feel and believe happened in my life as my truth, and then helps me see those areas I thought I was dumb or lacking of integrity, or evil, or whatever it seemed to be that made me this horrible human being bereft of any qualities belonging to a “good” human being.

My story has many facets to it and is woven into a tapestry of light and dark,  good and evil,  joy and sorrow, and great depression.  When we completed our first coaching session I began to see my life as a rich full expression of who I was based upon the people in my life and decisions I had made according to emotions I felt as a child or teenager, of a mother or  daughter, or of a wife or friend.

I based my life story on the reactions that others had to the decisions I made at various times in my life.  I did not realize that in order to make sound decisions I needed a mentor; a guide or a parent to show me and to teach me along the way.  I was expected to know what to do in all situations without any education in life.  I knew there was something terribly wrong with me; I was flawed in some way because I did not know how to do things I should have known how to do.   Leila took those areas of my life that were void of information and understanding and helped me fill them with compassion and self love.  We took those ares of my life that were full of fear and shame and unraveled those parts of my life until I could see that the emotional charge was of my own making.

Within our life coaching sessions we took my life story, which not only lived inside of me, but also had pieces of me scattered all over the place.  Part of me still lived in shame with my grandmother who has since passed; part of me lived with my ex husband who I had been divorced from for 20 years,  and part of me lived with  lovers and experiences  that caused great pain and shame.  In essence I was not a whole person but a  shattered Soul disassociated from the reality of my life.  I used to wonder what soul retrieval looked like.  I now know.

These sessions with Leila were more than what I would have imagined just bringing that part of me back; we brought back the story as well and incorporated what that story represented to my complete life.  With Lelia’s help we took those stories and placed them within my heart encased in something that represented the love and respect deserving of a loving friend.  Now they reside in peace and compassion.

I most appreciated that as we explored my story, and with the validation of my own feelings of truth, there emerged a different story.  This story had a much bigger truth.  It was one with unlimited possibilities within the realms of my own consciousness of human evolution.  This came about through total surrender to a higher truth.  All of my stories carried their own truth which included parts of myself that I now understand as my shadow selves; the parts of myself that I disowned and projected onto others.

Fear does not describe what I felt when we began this work.  Lelia listened to my stories and showed me my divine self in each one.  Things that held an emotional charge of shame and self contempt became a container for love and compassion; not only for me but for all the people in my life.  I am becoming aware of how limited my life was in so many aspects.

I love working with Lelia; she has helped me bring so much compassion into my world and quite honestly I believe she is an answer to a prayer.  I now understand the saying, “When the student is ready the teacher appears.” –Terri Marro

A Sweet Honoring….

Terri honors me so beautifully, but in reality it is Terri that is honored here.  Thank you Terri, for leaping!  Thank you being vulnerable enough to reinterpret your story.  Thank you for trusting me with your heart and allowing me to partner with you on your journey to wholeness!  Thank you for giving yourself the gift of ruthlessly compassionate support through our coaching relationship!  And most of all… thank you for letting me love you so deeply in our time together.  Namaste’ beautiful soul!

Spiritual Divorce; A Proven Process!

Spiritual Divorce is a proven process developed by New York Times best selling author, facilitator, and seminar leader Debbie Ford.  My ability to listen deeply and say aloud what wants to be said is a beautiful combination and necessary component to facilitating this coaching model.  I invite you to use me as your tool for transformation.  Call today to schedule your introductory coaching session.

November 3, 2009 Wendy Montanez

September 13, 2008 On Life Purpose Workshop

Jacob Kelley 2007 and 2009

Janet and Jeff Warren 2008 and 2009

Sigolene McCarthy

November 3, 2009 Terri Marro

Amy Symons

Natalie–Owner of Black Cat Book Store

Leila, I just want to thank you for the incredible support you have offered me.  I can’t imagine where I’d be without going through this process.  You have been awesome:  ruthlessly compassionate, present, an ass kicker, trusting and all done with love.  What a blessing you are!

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