Pain and Suffering is an Invitation to Change

Pain

Your Pain and Suffering can be an opportunity

If anyone knows the burning sensation of love being ripped from their chest, it’s me.  And yet, if done with consciousness a simple shift in perspective allows your pain and suffering to become an opportunity to love more deeply.  From this vantage point your love can expand along with your awareness and your life.  From this open hearted place, you can experience more love, not less.  Your love is not being ripped from your chest, your love is expanding to include your experience.

When in the midst of a broken heart it will be most advantageous to gently remind yourself to return to a place of trust.  It’s always in your best interest to ask this question:

If this were the best thing that ever happened to me, how would I respond?  What actions might I take?  What thoughts might I entertain?

Often, it’s only trust (or faith) in a higher power that will get you through your pain.  If you remind yourself that there are forces bigger than you…. forces that are on your side… forces that are delivering you to your best life, then you will be able to rest in your faith.  You will be able to take actions even in your pain.   You may have to remind yourself often that there is something fabulous waiting for you around the corner.  Sitting in the unknown is difficult, but when you have faith then your eyes are at least open to the gifts that are on their way.

Only your open heart allows you to give and receive love.

When you are in pain, you may be inclined to close your heart.  Some red flags of a closed heart are as follows:

  • Blame and Finger Pointing
  • Resentment
  • Justification
  • Anger (You can have anger with an open heart, but it will be a clean and vulnerable anger that doesn’t include any of the other red flags.)

Closing your heart to an someone you love (or once loved) is very painful and most assuredly prevents you from receiving the gifts of that relationship.  You may feel a need for protection, but bring consciousness to your choices around how you protect your beautiful heart.  There will be a huge difference in your experience if you choose to close your heart because you hurt too much.  The pain may seem to go away, but a closed heart will not have room for love to enter.

Healing your heart is a process–grief is a process!  And it will take the time it takes.

Choose to heal your heart from the pain and suffering by mining the gifts, learning the lessons, and making the changes you need to make to align with who you are–with the authentic self that is emerging.  The other option is to repeat patterns and end up in the same situation again with the same complaints and the same pain and suffering.  How many times do you want to do this?  And I don’t mean how many times do you want to open your heart to love… the answer to that should only be… “every time.”

If you are experiencing pain and suffering, then you are receiving an invitation from the Universe to change.  You have choices in this process.  You can be a victim and wallow in self-pity (which might be alright for a time), but at some point you will need to respond to the call of something bigger than yourself.  Heal your heart… notice what is being asked of you… take stock of patterns and beliefs that no longer serve you–and change them.

How open should you keep your heart?

Wide open! Not in naivety, but consciously wide open.  If you allow your hurts to close your heart in an attempt to protect yourself, then you will never know the joy of fully loving again.  If you have a little opening in your heart, you will be only able to let in love a little bit.  If you fill your heart with all the evidence and memories of what has hurt you, then you will have a heart filled with suspicion and fear.  That is not a very loving way to be with yourself.

Choose to open your heart completely and be the love that you are.  Allow love to permeate your experience… even your experience of pain and suffering… even your experience of a broken heart.  Allow your love to transform your pain and suffering into opportunity and growth.  You deserve nothing but love, but in order to receive it you must heal your broken heart and open to love.  Again and again and again.

If you experiencing pain and suffering from a broken heart, you may benefit from relationship coaching.  I have complete and total confidence that I can show you how to heal your heart and open to love!  Allow me the honor of supporting and loving you beyond your broken heart.

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Heal Your Broken Heart with Laughter

belly laugh

Can you laugh at yourself?

Can you laugh at the pain you’re in?  Can you laugh at your situation?  Can you laugh at how you’ve given yourself away and how you’ve dis-empowered yourself time and time again?  Laughing at yourself doesn’t negate the tears or pain you’re experiencing, but it does speak to your willingness to move beyond it.

You may go in and out of pain.  You may identify self-sabotaging patterns and behaviors and find yourself right back in the same situation you thought you were out of.  We’ve all done it at some point in our lives, so laugh.  Laugh until your belly hurts deep inside…  Laugh until you see –with clarity– the irony of your situation.  Laugh!  Not to beat yourself up, but to nurture yourself.  Laugh!  Not to remind yourself of what stupidity you’ve allowed yourself to stoop to, but to remember that you’re human.  That’s right–human!

When you’re done laughing….

Laugh some more!  Then take stock.  Look at your life and what you would like to be different.  Identify the key elements you would like in an empowered relationship.  Here are some ideas you might want to consider as you’re articulating your desires…

There’s lots of fun and play and laughter–genuine and hearty.  It’s obvious to everyone that knows this monogamous couple that they enjoy each other.  There is a mutual respect and admiration that they have for each other.  While they bring different qualities and gifts to the table, each is valuable and valued.  They freely express themselves and are utterly undefended with each other.

They are always learning something new to discover and explore together–including each others bodies.  They empower each other to step into their  limitless potential–again and again.  They are confidants and share what’s in their hearts–without reservation.

They have adventures together and are filled with passion for life.  They are consciously together–sharing their lives and having a positive impact on everything (and everyone) they touch.  Their relationship is a breathing, living entity the enlivens them and those they interact with.  Their relationship is free of shame and guilt and is a container of mutual love, attraction, affection, and care.  They feel free to be themselves and have full access and expression of their authentic voices.

They have the experience of being in love with each other and meeting each other…their love deepens over time.  They take responsibility for themselves and are aware of their projections and therefore don’t put anything onto the other.

It’s easy and unfolds to their mutual delight, satisfaction, and joy!

This relationship is free of manipulation and passive-aggressive behavior and co-dependence.  They are free of the fear of loss, knowing that whatever happens is in their highest good.

They work together in some capacity and being together adds to their personal paths as opposed to taking away from them.  Communication is clear and direct.  There is deep compassion and empathy and unconditional love.  While they have much in common, they continue to pursue their individual interests and never give up anything that is important to them for the sake of the relationship.

Is healing really possible?

If you’ve been hurt and if you’re still feeling the pain of a broken heart, then you might not even be able to see beyond your pain to what is possible.  I know it’s possible, because I’ve been through this coaching process myself as part of my training–and for a real relationship that caused me pain.  I know the power that integrating the spiritual laws will have on your life, because they’ve worked in every single one of my clients lives.  One step at a time you will learn the tools and skills that will turn your pain into your greatest opportunities.

Start Your Healing TODAY!

I have every confidence that I can show you how to heal your heart.  It will take a few things on your part… willingess being the key ingredient.  If you’re ready to heal your heart, then contact me at Leila @myheartheals.com to schedule your  introductory relationship coaching appointment today.

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Teresa Marro Transforms Shame into Self-Love and Heals Her Broken Heart

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Deb Leoni — Testimonial

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Leila, I just want to thank you for the incredible support you have offered me.  I can’t imagine where I’d be without going through this process.  You have been awesome:  ruthlessly compassionate, present, an ass kicker, trusting and all done with love.  What a blessing you are!

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